Sparkly carbon detractors
When I was a kid, I watched a documentary on PBS with my grandfather about the diamond trade. I saw that miners were kept separated from their wives for months at a time, were treated like animals, and caged at night. I heard how the money made from the trade fueled terrible wars. I learned how De Beers had engineered this, so that diamonds, a rock so plentiful that there are enough in the world for every man, woman, and child to have a cup full of them, have had their prices and social value artificially inflated.
Is it any wonder I've had a negative view of the "forever" stone, which can be burned with a blowtorch? And how I despise it when men are often judged by how big a rock they get their fiancées? And how it angers me that De Beers snuck their product into Hollywood as subtly as the cigarette companies?
A long time ago, I lost a friend over my vehement feelings. Since then, I've learned not to judge people on what they desire. Everyone has their own choices to make in life, and who am I to sit in judgement? To each his/her own.
But I was pleasantly surprised at a recent thread on fark.com about stories that people shared about their engagement rings. I've copied what I found to be the best of them here.
- My engagement "ring" was a laptop. I told my fiance that if he was going to spend $3K on me, I wanted something I could use and not some useless piece of jewellry. It's 4 years later and I still use the laptop. The $100 ring he also bought me has been sitting in a jewellry box for the last 3 years. - Altrissa
- My wife refused to have a diamond in her engagement ring. The jewler got pissed off and said, "Diamonds are always in engagement rings!" To which my wife replied, "Diamonds are made of the same stuff as pencil lead. Why would I want something so common?" It was magnificent. - tetsoushima
- My dad saved the change he had in his pockets when he came back from Vietnam the year I was born. My wife went to him before the wedding and got one of the half-dollars he had and took it to an old-timey blacksmith who hammered it out into a ring. Somehow he managed to keep both the year and the "In God We Trust" legible around the inside, while the outside just has a hammered silver look. - Skyd1v
- We had a talk about this, and to my pleasant surprise, she was totally against a real diamond for several reasons, some ethical some financial. She understands the ridiculousness of throwing money away on a stone that doesn't appreciate in value and is hard to sell. She's also a little more than horrified by the human cost in the trade of diamonds. That line of thought, among many other reasons is why I married her, she's the best! - EbolaNYC
- My wife and I wear wedding rings that cost $1 each. That's one dollar. Per wedding band. We weren't going to have wedding rings, but we were going through her stuff just prior to getting married, and she found two dollar-store rings that her daughter had given her. They just happened to fit us...They're dull grey "pot metal", and they're *our* wedding ring. - SpinStopper
- My cousin told her future husband that she wanted anything but a diamond. Her boyfriend's father said he should just get a cruelty-free diamond, and the father would pay the difference. My cousin patiently explained that she didn't even want a diamond at all, because getting a cruelty-free one is still feeding into the culture, and she'd much prefer a lab created gem. The father threw a fit and to this day makes snide remarks about how unfeminine she is. - These Colors Run So You'd Better Go Catch Them
- I told my husband that a diamond was unnecessary, since they are made of carbon, the most plentiful substance on the planet, and not even remotely rare. Even if they are pretty and sparkly. Hubby is a bit of a traditionalist, and wanted to do things "right," so we looked at diamond solitaire engagement rings, and I honestly didn't like how big, huge rocks looked on my finger. I told him if he really wanted to get a diamond, to get a small one and not spend a lot of money. So he did. My ring is very modest with a visible inclusion; according to the paperwork, the lowest quality they'll use as a gemstone, and that's just fine with me. His ex likes to jam her enormous stupid ring in my face because she thinks the fact that she made her idiot of a husband spend the equivalent of a couple of monthly housing payments on a hunk of carbon means something; to me it just means he's a dumbass. - Jennaratrix
- I didn't want an engagement ring, period. The tradition annoys me, especially the fact that other women make such a huge frigging deal about it. - MidnightSkulker
- My husband made me a gold Claddagh with a garnet, then he designed the wedding band to nest into it. The band has two small diamonds in it, and I have no idea where they came from (other than Rio Grande Jewelry supply). Didn't want a big rock, they just get caught on everything. - k1yok2tog
- I just don't find cut diamonds that pretty, though my sister (who makes jewelry) did show me the allure of things made with unrefined Canadian diamonds. She and her boyfriend pretty much feel the same way about the diamond trade though and have been picking out their own stones to go into a ring - especially since she can get a very nice yellow beryl PLUS accent topazes AND get the ring custom made in the southwest for cheaper than a lot of diamond engagement rings. - spyderqueen
- The engagement ring the wife has is a simple silver band that I made myself. Our wedding rings are also simple gold and silver bands, no decorations, though one is gold on silver, the other silver on gold. We chose the simple rings and wedding and used the money we didn't waste there to put a down payment on a house later. - Jormungandr
- My friend's boyfriend had a mutual friend who's a jeweler create a ring with a huge-ass cubic zirconium (about 1" in diameter). The mounting is sterling and it's absolutely perfect for my friend, though she admitted she wasn't likely to wear it a lot (she's an artist and works with her hands, and she's never been big on jewelry). But she loves it and no animals or miners were hurt. - Dwight_Yeast
- I love my engagement ring far more because it's a gorgeous blue-purple synthetic alexandrite. No child miners. No blood diamonds. It didn't cost my husband an arm and a leg (there are better things to spend money on). It's unusual and different and nice. I never understood the point of diamonds anyway, since I can't tell them apart from glass. - NeedsMoreCoffee
- My wedding ring is blackened tungsten carbide with a laser etched batman symbol. His is the opposite, with the batman symbol blackened. Started off as a 'joke' ring, because we didn't want to rush into buying an expensive ring. But we exchanged them with our vows. There's no other ring I want now. Sparkly metals and rocks are overrated - just because it's expensive doesn't make it special... and Batman is forever. - SusanCreature
- Fark.com: Where no one admits to liking shiny pieces of carbon. - Trillian Astra
Is it any wonder I've had a negative view of the "forever" stone, which can be burned with a blowtorch? And how I despise it when men are often judged by how big a rock they get their fiancées? And how it angers me that De Beers snuck their product into Hollywood as subtly as the cigarette companies?
A long time ago, I lost a friend over my vehement feelings. Since then, I've learned not to judge people on what they desire. Everyone has their own choices to make in life, and who am I to sit in judgement? To each his/her own.
But I was pleasantly surprised at a recent thread on fark.com about stories that people shared about their engagement rings. I've copied what I found to be the best of them here.
- My engagement "ring" was a laptop. I told my fiance that if he was going to spend $3K on me, I wanted something I could use and not some useless piece of jewellry. It's 4 years later and I still use the laptop. The $100 ring he also bought me has been sitting in a jewellry box for the last 3 years. - Altrissa
- My wife refused to have a diamond in her engagement ring. The jewler got pissed off and said, "Diamonds are always in engagement rings!" To which my wife replied, "Diamonds are made of the same stuff as pencil lead. Why would I want something so common?" It was magnificent. - tetsoushima
- My dad saved the change he had in his pockets when he came back from Vietnam the year I was born. My wife went to him before the wedding and got one of the half-dollars he had and took it to an old-timey blacksmith who hammered it out into a ring. Somehow he managed to keep both the year and the "In God We Trust" legible around the inside, while the outside just has a hammered silver look. - Skyd1v
- We had a talk about this, and to my pleasant surprise, she was totally against a real diamond for several reasons, some ethical some financial. She understands the ridiculousness of throwing money away on a stone that doesn't appreciate in value and is hard to sell. She's also a little more than horrified by the human cost in the trade of diamonds. That line of thought, among many other reasons is why I married her, she's the best! - EbolaNYC
- My wife and I wear wedding rings that cost $1 each. That's one dollar. Per wedding band. We weren't going to have wedding rings, but we were going through her stuff just prior to getting married, and she found two dollar-store rings that her daughter had given her. They just happened to fit us...They're dull grey "pot metal", and they're *our* wedding ring. - SpinStopper
- My cousin told her future husband that she wanted anything but a diamond. Her boyfriend's father said he should just get a cruelty-free diamond, and the father would pay the difference. My cousin patiently explained that she didn't even want a diamond at all, because getting a cruelty-free one is still feeding into the culture, and she'd much prefer a lab created gem. The father threw a fit and to this day makes snide remarks about how unfeminine she is. - These Colors Run So You'd Better Go Catch Them
- I told my husband that a diamond was unnecessary, since they are made of carbon, the most plentiful substance on the planet, and not even remotely rare. Even if they are pretty and sparkly. Hubby is a bit of a traditionalist, and wanted to do things "right," so we looked at diamond solitaire engagement rings, and I honestly didn't like how big, huge rocks looked on my finger. I told him if he really wanted to get a diamond, to get a small one and not spend a lot of money. So he did. My ring is very modest with a visible inclusion; according to the paperwork, the lowest quality they'll use as a gemstone, and that's just fine with me. His ex likes to jam her enormous stupid ring in my face because she thinks the fact that she made her idiot of a husband spend the equivalent of a couple of monthly housing payments on a hunk of carbon means something; to me it just means he's a dumbass. - Jennaratrix
- I didn't want an engagement ring, period. The tradition annoys me, especially the fact that other women make such a huge frigging deal about it. - MidnightSkulker
- My husband made me a gold Claddagh with a garnet, then he designed the wedding band to nest into it. The band has two small diamonds in it, and I have no idea where they came from (other than Rio Grande Jewelry supply). Didn't want a big rock, they just get caught on everything. - k1yok2tog
- I just don't find cut diamonds that pretty, though my sister (who makes jewelry) did show me the allure of things made with unrefined Canadian diamonds. She and her boyfriend pretty much feel the same way about the diamond trade though and have been picking out their own stones to go into a ring - especially since she can get a very nice yellow beryl PLUS accent topazes AND get the ring custom made in the southwest for cheaper than a lot of diamond engagement rings. - spyderqueen
- The engagement ring the wife has is a simple silver band that I made myself. Our wedding rings are also simple gold and silver bands, no decorations, though one is gold on silver, the other silver on gold. We chose the simple rings and wedding and used the money we didn't waste there to put a down payment on a house later. - Jormungandr
- My friend's boyfriend had a mutual friend who's a jeweler create a ring with a huge-ass cubic zirconium (about 1" in diameter). The mounting is sterling and it's absolutely perfect for my friend, though she admitted she wasn't likely to wear it a lot (she's an artist and works with her hands, and she's never been big on jewelry). But she loves it and no animals or miners were hurt. - Dwight_Yeast
- I love my engagement ring far more because it's a gorgeous blue-purple synthetic alexandrite. No child miners. No blood diamonds. It didn't cost my husband an arm and a leg (there are better things to spend money on). It's unusual and different and nice. I never understood the point of diamonds anyway, since I can't tell them apart from glass. - NeedsMoreCoffee
- My wedding ring is blackened tungsten carbide with a laser etched batman symbol. His is the opposite, with the batman symbol blackened. Started off as a 'joke' ring, because we didn't want to rush into buying an expensive ring. But we exchanged them with our vows. There's no other ring I want now. Sparkly metals and rocks are overrated - just because it's expensive doesn't make it special... and Batman is forever. - SusanCreature
- Fark.com: Where no one admits to liking shiny pieces of carbon. - Trillian Astra
posted by Skott at 12:44 PM
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